I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
