last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
