i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
