What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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