Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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