I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
