I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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