Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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