Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
