i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
