I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
