I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In other news, I just burned my penis
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
