Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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