fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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