I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
