3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
