i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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