I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
