At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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