i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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