Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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