am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
