dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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