I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
