every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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