Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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