I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
