Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
