Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
