i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
