I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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