Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
