She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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