The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
