Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
