those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
