It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
