That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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