This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
