your thong is hanging out like whoa
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
