You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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