I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
