you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
