Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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