The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
