i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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