I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
