I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
