i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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