I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
