Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
