All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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