I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
